Comments for Relationships & Breaking Up

Comment on Recovering from a Long-Term Relationship Break-Up by logan

logan — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:20:57 +0000

I left my gilfriend a year ago, ever since I been beging her to take me back and she has been tellling no.
A few weeks ago a propose to be friends with benifits(sex life was never a problem )and she agree to it
but I cant do it because I have feelings for her .
I have been suspecting that she is sleeping with a coworker and she denies it, buit yestarday I check her emails and I found out that she has been sending pictures of her breast and they go out every weekend for the most part . Any how I confronted her about it and she still denies it she erase the pictures from her google account .
I left her and we have a baby toguether I miss her even though aour relation ship was not doing that good , I dont know how to move on I fgeel so depressed, please anyone that has done something similar please advice I feel like I goona die .

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by Emmalie

Emmalie — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:43:59 +0000

Hello my name is Emmalie. I really need some advise from someone on what to do. I am currently engaged to a wonderful man but he sometimes has anger issues and tells me to get out whenever we get in a fight. I love him with all my heart but im having second thoughts. I always said i was never going to get married. I know the only reason i decided to get married was because all of my friends were getting engaged. im still young and this is my first relationship as well. I feel like setteling down now will cause problems in the future since he is my first. I dont know how to tell him that i want to break off the engagement and really need some advise on that. We currently live together and have bills together and im worried about that as well i dont want to hurt him and make life hard for him but at the same time this is not where i see my life going anymore. I love him so much but things have been hard for the last few months. its like what ever he wants im supposed to do but what i want doesnt allways matter. when i ask him to do something he wont do it i will canstantly drop hints about doing the dishes or just picking up his clothes that are all over the house but nothing sinks in until i cannot take it anymore and freak out. He says he didnt realize it bothered me that much and he will try harder. It goes good for awhile and then the same thing happens again. I have always been independent and know what i want in my life and i dont believe i will ever have it if i stay in this current relationship although i am madly in love with him. I just need adivse as to how to apporoach the break of the engagement and tell him i think we need to live on our own again and any other adivse you may have for me.

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by LittleOne

LittleOne — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:30:55 +0000

I have been debating on breaking off the engagement and cancelling the wedding for about 2 months now. It’s really stressful and the situation is only making me depressed. I have been with this guy for about 6 and a half years now, engaged for 2 years, and getting married in October. He is a nice guy, the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet but he has different priorities than I do. I still love him but dont think that either of us will be happy if we get married on the wrong terms. I am a ambitious person and he is the opposite: he is very content with anything and everything. He has taken up getting high all the time and now I dont feel attracted to him and dont even want to be around him. I work and go to school full time, and whenever I find time, I continue plans for the wedding. I want someone who is as ambitious as I am with dreams and aspirations. The stress is killing me and I need to make a decision fast before its too late.

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by notgivingmyrealname

notgivingmyrealname — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:09:23 +0000

I am also haveing crazy thoughts of telling him to kiss off. And I know that sounds hartless but I just do not care anymore. I have sat at home on a weekend for the last time, while he decides that he uses his two days off to play Dungeons and Dragons like he is still a child with “friends” so wierd and into there own little worlds that I have tried and I mean seriously tried to befriend them, but they do not talk about anything other than the “fantasy” world. I am sick and tired of him telling me we will have time when we “move in together”, guys, we have been moveing in together for over a year now and he never seems to accomplish this due to his financhial instability. He always has to buy things for these stupid games books, cards ect… he dose not know what it means to save a dollor. and that is another thing i am sick of, he acts like I am a snooty girl that needs the best…Our wedding budget is only 3000…something that I have set as a limit! I have paid over 1,400 for our honeymoon he has contributed NOTHING to the wedding yet he has invited most of the people. to boot he is sneaky and I do not trust him anymore for beans. He always tells me hes putting away money when he gets paid…or than its when he gets his taxes….and he has put nothing away. I am tired of his not giveing any damn affection to me other than when he wants sex. If i want him to rub my back as some form of affection he tells me “well im not a slave”…its BS! and I have my life ahead of me, I want to get my masters in London…and I figure the hell with it man, if he can go out and use all his time on his friends and little boys games and im expected to sit and wait…than what the hell is the point! I am 27 years old and have more life to live than to be someones second choice!

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by Lily

Lily — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:41:33 +0000

My wedding is in less than 4 months and Im having major doubts. Everything is booked, ordered, paid for…..even the honeymoon. Its an expensive wedding too that actually my fiancé is paying mostly for so I’m not sure how that would work if I canceled the wedding now…..I wouldn’t feel right letting him pay for a wedding that didn’t happen. I just feel like a lot has changed since we got engaged. He isn’t the man I thought he was when I fell in love with him. Since being engaged I found out be has been calling local escorts and prostitutes off craigslist. He says it is just for fantasy and that he’s never and would never really meet up with them. He had some childhood trauma( which he only just a couple months ago told me about) which I’m sure has something to do with it. But I don’t know what to believe. We’ve had poor communication skills our entire 3 year relationship. I suggested counseling and he agreed but has made no effort to set it up or even talk about it. He wants to act like nothing happened and just be lovey dovey all the time. I am really hurt and confused. He swears he’s never cheated or would never meet up with prostitutes but how can I trust him…..it’s such a big deal and I’m crushed I even have to have such a ridiculous concern. I’m not happy being engaged. But it’s so close to the wedding. My fiancé is actually really sweet and kind and supportive to me and we have so much fun together but huge red flags. I already know what mist people are going to say but it is somewhat therapeutic writing this and sharing with people I don’t know. I can’t talk to most of my friends/family about this so…..

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by Kimmy

Kimmy — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:07:28 +0000

I’m torn (as so many of you!) Things are just mildly wrong, but I feel it may be enough to end things.

My fiance is great (we’ve been together for 3.5 years, engaged for 2) – we didn’t have a big fight or anything – but I’ve been thinking about ending things for about a year now.

Previoulsy, I lived a state away and had a 3 hour drive to see him. I moved in with him about 1.5 years ago – left my friends, family, and job. Now, I hate my job, have no friends here, and am getting frustrated with him.

I spend my days off cleaning, he spends them watching TV. Nothing gets done if I don’t ask repeatedly, and even then, it with a huff and a puff. I am an adult, not a parent – I don’t feel I should get that reaction. Whenever I bring up money or religion or anything else of substance – I just get stonewalled. We joke around and have fun – but he makes fun of me a lot. When I do it to him, he gets irritated and walks away. His family and mine are SO different – and that worries me too. My family is very religious and his is so far from. I love to work out, but since I’ve been with him, my workouts slack. My cooking is also constantly criticized (everyone else seems to love it, might I add! ) I’ve also lost basically all interest in sex (which sucks for both of us!)

We both love the outdoors, but even so, I feel like I have to pressure him to get out of the house. I love him to pieces and he is good to me – always there when I need him – but I feel like I just miss everything else so much. My family and best friend don’t seem to be surprised by my thoughts to possibly end things (which is a bit alarming!)

I’ve suffered the “wow, I’ve wasted so much time” and all the splitting up of things – cell phone, rent, going through everything in the house – but I keep telling myself that none of those things matter. It’s solely “is this what I want for the rest of my life?”

Comment on Why is Breaking Up So Hard? It Shouldn’t Be! by Larin Izbor

Larin Izbor — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:51:55 +0000

the time is healing all the pain, I am sure about this… and in the end you always know it is better like this!

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by Joseph

Joseph — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:43:00 +0000

My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. Shes pretty good and sometimes shes great. I love her to death and I know she lives me but she has many flaws. Nothing to big but it bothers me. she will invite her friends over when the house is a mess and then get onto me when I try to invite my friends over when its the same way. Our she will invite them over without asking if its ok with me. She very rarely cleans the house and gets onto me when its bit clean. She complains that she doesn’t have time when she works only 6 to 8 hours a day 5 or 6 days a week and I work 12 hours shifts. So when I do finally get a day off I spend it trying to clean up. She always assumes everything is ok with me and I’ve told her to stop doing that but it still continues. she doesn’t like most of my friends and she never lets me go out with them. When I try to she makes up some excuse and trys to make me feel guilty because we never hang out. Which is a lie because we live together so we always see each other. also I’m looking for a new vehicle. The only ones I’ve had are ones that were givin to me or I had to get because the people helping me but them wouldn’t sign on anything else. So I have a chance to get the vehicle I want and she’s trying to tell me what to do on it. I know most of these things are small but all together they are big and they are all the time. Can anyone help me?

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by Heather

Heather — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 07:30:05 +0000

Bette, what you said is seriously exactly how I feel in my relationship. I’m 26 and he’s 27, and he is an amazing person but I deep down feel like an important factor is missing…passion.

We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years and have been living together for over a year an engaged for 6 months. For the past 2 months I’ve been pushing him back and forth and this week I finally got my own apartment and said I needed time and space, but he still isn’t getting the point that I’m trying to break it off.

He’s such a great guy and it makes it so hard, but I was told that if you arnt 100%, don’t do it cuz you
will always have doubts and it will never work.

However, I still need to take that advice cuz I don’t know how to finish breaking it off even though I’m moving out, cuz I do love him. But, I don’t ever see myself marrying him. Such a sad, stressful and hard decision.

Comment on Break Off an Engagement: How to Break Up With Your Fiance and Avoid a Marriage You Don’t Want by Bette

Bette — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 09:31:21 +0000

I have been with my fiance for a year and 4 months, he proposed to me on New Years. He’s 30 and I’m 28. He is a good man and he loves me unconditionally. I have had a few serious boyfriends in the past but haven’t met anyone so genuine, caring, loving, dedicated and trustworthy. He is completely transparent and would never even look at another woman. He’s going to be a fantastic father and a great husband. I care about him alot. However, for me, I don’t feel any strong passion between us. I’m not feeling the spark anymore. He’s such a good man, but he doesn’t intrigue me or challenge me mentally. I’m not sure we’re really connected on a spiritual level, or share the same sense of humour. We can laugh together, but he doesn’t have me in stitches very often. I’m really torn as to whether I should call it off or not. He’s so right in so many ways, about the most important things – loving, supportive, trustworthy, family-focused, but I feel like a deeper connection/passion is missing. I’ve said to myself that I’ll wait another few months before I make a decision but perhaps these doubts are enough for me to act now. Help!