Don’t delay

Do you have the sense that eventually you will leave your partner, though now is just not the right time.  With a birthday coming up, a parent who is ill, or an important interview on the horizon, you just can’t leave her now in her time of need.  The truth is, there is never a good time to leave, and the sooner you do it, the sooner you both can get on with your lives.

Do it in person, if possible.

Breakups can be traumatic for both parties, but especially for the person being “dumped.”  Do everything you can to show them the respect and consideration they deserve.  Don’t break-up by email or text!

Don’t Criticize

Be honest, but leave you personal criticizm. Talk about the circumstances, and not about personal faults.  Avoid blaming.

That said, you can gently criticize if you think it will help them in the future, though be sensitive and cautious – your words may stick in his/her mind for years to come.

Don’t flip/flop

It’s difficult to hurt someone’s feelings, and in the moment it may seem like it’s a good idea to try again. Don’t do this – you’ll be faced with the same problems in the future, and it’ll only be more difficult to break up at that time.

No contact

Everyone violates this rule. They insist on trying to forge a friendship out of a recently broken up relationship.  It’s a bad idea, and it only makes it harder for both parties.  If possible, don’t mention friendship, or speak of it in terms of way down the road.  No contact: A simple rule, so follow it!

For more help, check out the break-up guides below:

How to break up for men, and how to break up for women.

LISTEN EVERYONE:

I give a lot of advice letting people know the best way to break up.  Yes, sometimes it can feel impossible to finally let go, especially when you’re overcome with guilt, and you just don’t know how you’re going to break it off.

I get emails from men and women asking how they can finally pull the plug on an unhappy relationship.  I’m proud to say that I’ve helped many people summon up the courage to end unhappy/unhealthy relationships.

I don’t have time to answer everyone on an individual basis, but I began to realize something… Most people just want to know a few things:

  • What is the BEST way to break-up?
  • How can I do it in a way that doesn’t hurt him/her?
  • What can I do about all this guilt that is keeping me trapped?
  • What if we’re ENGAGED, or if we share an apartment, or if I have NO MONEY?
  • How do I deal with attempts to manipulate me emotionally?
  • I know he/she is going to FREAK OUT!  What then??

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