Sex is a part of life and it should be something that is enjoyed. Too often, the topic is treated as taboo or makes people uncomfortable just to mention, but unless you can openly discuss sex, we never know what works and what does not. Many times, people are left in the dark about what a woman wants or likes simply because they have been given inaccurate information or never discussed the topic. This article focuses on the truths and myths around great sex, as well as some tips to be amazing.
Tip 1: Take it Slow
Sex is not a race to an orgasm. In fact, if you are only focused on the orgasm instead of your partner, then it will not be all that enjoyable. Pace yourself and enjoy the moment you are in, not what is to come.
Tip 2: The Hot Spot
This is true for both men and women, but guys need to know about this one. Everyone has different “zones” on their bodies that get them hot and bothered. Take time to find these spots that are extra sensitive to touch and caress them during sex. Have fun exploring to find just the right spot and let your partner do the same. Some of the most common are the inner thigh, rib cage, neck, and crook of the elbow.
Tip 3: Connection
The biggest complaint for women is a lack of connection with their partner. We are so concerned about what to do or what to say and where to look, we fail to connect. Your partner is the most important thing during sex so look into their eyes, pay attention to body language, and watch their movements. If her back arches in response, you are doing things right. Remember to stay in the moment.
What Women Really Want
Men tend to believe that a mad dash to the bedroom and stripping off your clothes is the beginning of sex, but for women, sex begins before the date. Women prepare mentally for the night long before meeting her man. This happens as make-up is applied and shaving takes place. Mental foreplay is important for a woman. When she is thinking about sex with you, the body responds. So, to help this along, while on the date, make small gestures or say coy things to insinuate sex without ever mentioning it outright. Play around with the things you say to make them hint at sex as you look into her eyes and smile. Think about sex with her a bit and play with her mind in loving, sensual ways. She will be turned on, just as you. It takes longer for a woman to get turned on when compared to a man, so a bit of mental foreplay gets her warmed up. This is a highly important step.
Dealing with Performance Anxiety
Sometimes thinking about sex with someone can cause anxiety. Much of this is about trying to map out exactly what will happen and becomes overwhelming. When we do this, we miss the point, having fun. The truth is, if she agreed to the date, she finds you attractive and if you have dated a while, she is interested. She will drop hints when she is ready to take things to the bedroom. So, breathe and stay present in the moment to remind yourself you are enough for her. If it helps, think of, and repeat positive affirmations or try guided meditation.
Being Better in Bed: For Guys
As mentioned, women start the date and sex in their minds. Women are not as visual as men, so there is no need to be self-conscious in bed. Be able to stay present, enjoy the moment, and laugh at yourself when necessary. Be confident and she will be pleased. However, it goes beyond this for women. Before ever getting into bed, make sure you both know the intentions of the evening. If it is a one-night stand or working toward a relationship, either is fine, but be clear and make sure intentions match. If not, someone will end up getting hurt.