Breakups are frustrating. You can’t stop eating ice cream regardless of having no appetite. You always have a lot of sadness. That one individual you can count on during such moments cannot help because they dumped you. I am aware that you are probably thinking: “Break up is what I’m trying to avoid, how can it be a good thing?”
You should know that quite a number of relationships doesn’t end because of breakups.
According to a recent study by Kansas State University, one in three couples who stay together have once broken up and gotten back together. Also, most individuals aged between 17-24 have gone back to their exes after a break-up.
Therefore, why do couples forgive each other? And how can both of you stay together due to breaking up in the long run?
- Breaking up gets you out of your comfort zone to face your problems
Break up can make you do something about the current situation. That relationship can be charred, escape but always is worth fighting for.
- Taking a break strengthens both of you
The key to a happy relationship is independence. Frequently couples argue and then break up because they depend on each other for happiness.
This thought that you can’t be happy without your partner is quite frustrating. This can imply that they are the source of your happiness and without them making you happy you’ll always be sad. Both you and your partner cannot take that. The fact that now you broke up means there’s no one you can rely on. You’ll be forced now to be happy on your own and figure out how you can do things without anybody being involved.
Through this, you’ll grow such that when you get back together, you won’t be depending on them for your own happiness. You’ll become aware that you love this person because of their values. Strong relationships are built like this.
- You’ll see what has not been working out
The fact that you are too close hinders you from seeing what’s not working in your relationship. You need to distance yourself to understand what’s really happening.
Think about that relationship and the reason why things didn’t work out. Maybe they never treated you right? You didn’t have enough in common. I know during that time you never saw all these.
You can also do this with your current relationship. After being apart for some time you look at the relationship objectively. You can pinpoint what’s good and what’s bad, and what needs to be done to make the relationship work. Distance is good as it enables you to open your mind before getting back into the relationship.
- It makes things shake
Relationships can easily get into ruts. You start doing things together and everything seems great. But soon you realize that you always just do the same things and now you are not close even with your friends. You are deeply rooted in the relationship that you forgot you had a life before this relationship.
Breakups can shake your schedule in a way that might seem uncomfortable but it can be beneficial at the same time.
- It helps you figure out what you need
There is a chance of a relationship ending because either of you or both of you don’t know what you want. This causes tension because you don’t know what’s expected of you. Maybe they gave you too much attention, or maybe you were unable to rely on them and you were afraid to let them know.
Being apart for a while helps you answer the following questions:
- What is it that I miss about them?
- What do I miss?
- What did they do to change my life every day?
- Is there anything that I wanted from them that was so unreasonable?
- Did I invest fully in the relationship?
- Do I have time for myself?
- Did they have freedom in the relationship?
- You will discover that being single really sucks
I know we all agree that being single is not easy. You will have to constantly socialize, meet new and dress to impress. You have no one to talk to especially after a date, you therefore just tweet about it and sleep.
Know that your ex also feels the same way. Other times, taking time apart makes you realize that you were both taking each other for granted.
It’s very important to take this break. You shouldn’t contact each other during this break. It might be hard to do this, but that’s the only that you’ll get back together.