One day you find yourself without the small things that were taken for granted, messages, flowers, late night dates – everything is suddenly gone. You may not know what to do with yourself, but you want things to go back to how they were when you were together. Things will get better, but it will be difficult to actually feel better. Below are ten ways to help the healing process following a tough breakup.
A break-up can feel like the worst thing to ever happen. It seems the sun will never shine again as you go through a huge range of emotions over lost love, but you will eventually get through it. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and grieve a relationship, once great, lost. Feeling the pain is necessary so that you do not bottle it up and ruin future relationships. Let the time pass as your heart begins to heal and eventually you can move on.
Feel Your Feelings
A break-up will cause so many emotions to flood over you and while you should feel them, you should not let them consume you. Take some time to simply feel, but do not let other things be forgotten in your grief or you will have to deal with the fallout later. Find ways to express your emotions, like writing or playing music. New hobbies are a great way to channel the anger, hurt, and pain into something productive while healing.
Don’t Blame Yourself
No relationship is perfect and many will at some point come to an end. There is no point in dwelling what could have been and assigning yourself blame. If your ex is not willing to work things out or compromise when you were, then leaving is the only real option. Love is a choice we make and sometimes people choose to let it go. Even though you may feel like wallowing in a pit of self-pity, know that your ex has made their choice and you must do the same. As you heal, start to look forward to how much better your next relationship will be.
Add Some Distance
When a relationship ends, cut all ties when possible. If no children are involved, then ghost your ex. The ex is the source of pain that does not need to be reopened at every turn. Avoid this person by not making calls, sending texts, or even online stalking. Let them go. It is best not to know what the other person is up to so you will not be hurt further if they move on first. Treat your ex as a stranger. The person has no answers for you, the decision has been made, get on with life.
While some people feel that they can remain friends after a heartbreak, it is not possible in the beginning. If months or years down the road life puts you together, perhaps a friendship can be created, but not right away. The trust has been broken and you will both need time and space to heal.
Be Angry, Do Not Get Consumed
As part of the healing process, pain and sadness will be replaced by hatred and anger. While these are easier to deal with overall, they are exhausting. You have probably called your ex every vile name you can think of and cursed all his future relationships, but do not let it get the best of you. Vent that anger by punching a pillow, taking a boxing class, or just screaming, then move on with your day. If you keep moving forward, one day you will wake up and no longer feel the pain or care that it is gone. Once apathy over the relationship sets in, you are over your ex.
At some point, you are likely to desire revenge or justice for the heartbreak you are suffering, but when this happens, it is a waste of energy and time. This phase is not worth it so you need to be the bigger and better person. No amount of online bashing or late night phone calls will repair what is broken, so let it go. Even if he flaunts a new relationship in your face, shrug it off and walk away so he does not get the satisfaction of seeing you angry or jealous.
Look on the Bright Side
Though it can be hard to see, there is always a silver lining. It may turn out that the breakup is a hidden blessing because the relationship was unhealthy or going nowhere. You are a beautiful person that deserves the best, appreciate those who are still around and love you. Take time to do something worthwhile, volunteer, join an organization, or take a trip with family and friends. This will make you a better person as you heal and have fun.
In a relationship you were hopefully working together toward common goals, but now that it has ended, be a bit selfish. You have some time to care about only yourself and rediscover your independence. Do not worry over your ex getting what they deserve, find what you deserve and go for it. Choose happiness for yourself in whatever way appeals most to you.
Never Give Up on Love
Some who have suffered a broken heart become cynical and closed off, keeping themselves from love for the future, but this is not necessary. A single failed relationship does not need to define your entire future love life. While falling in love always puts us at risk of being hurt, it is worth the risk to have the chance to love. Take that chance as soon as you are ready.
While you may have settled in your last relationship, do not settle again. Love yourself enough to go for the best in life, even if it takes some time to get there. The person that just left you was not the perfect mate or they would not have left. Move on and find the stability you deserve. Look for someone who is dependable, faithful, compassionate, and respectful to you all the time, otherwise the relationship is not about love. Remember, loving yourself is the first place to start, then find someone to love you just as much.