Conflict in a marriage is tough to overcome because we do not always know how to go about making amends for wrong doing. There are other times when forgiveness is hard to give due to pain and hurt. This is what makes conflict so painful and complex. This article shares three ways to help with reconciliation with a spouse if conflict does arise.
Admit Your Wrong – Excuse Free
Saying “I was wrong” takes extreme courage, but if you know you were then say it. This is essential to both you and your spouse moving forward. Refusing to admit being wrong and asking for forgiveness can cause serious damage. There is no place for pride in a marriage, so we must practice vulnerability and humility.
Beyond saying you are sorry, you must be willing to do so without excuses for what has happened. Keep things as simple as possible. When we make excuses, it takes away from the apology overall. Once you have owned your mistake, take responsibility and be totally honest with your spouse. It may still take time for the pain to heal and the relationship to mend, especially if the conflict was intense, but willingness to apologize and take ownership goes a long way toward full reconciliation.
Let It Go
When disagreements do occur, especially the big ones, clear the air in a very loving way. Though this takes on a different format for each couple, come together when you are both calm and openly discuss what has happened. Speak truth in love and listen carefully to the other person’s perspective. Offer grace even if you disagree with your spouse, without trying to force your own opinion.
Often, basic misunderstandings and poor communication skills lead to deep conflict. Work together to create understanding and clarity, even if opinions still differ. When you have taken the time to communicate well and reached a compromise, move on. Holding a grudge will only hinder intimacy, simply let it go.
Find Something Enjoyable
When in conflict, it is easy to withdraw from one another, but this is the time to get closer and deepen intimacy. Retreating to separate corners will not help rebuild the relationship. To help get this started, find something enjoyable you can do together. A change of pace can end a conflict quickly as you enjoy one another. Choose something positive and enjoyable for you both.
Unresolved conflict can ruin a marriage or relationship in a moment. Instead of becoming bitter or withdrawing, even trying to get revenge, focus on the positive. By finding constructive ways in which the relationship can be healed, you are more likely to enjoy a strong, healthy lifetime of love.