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When You Aren’t Over Your Ex

When You Aren’t Over Your Ex

Posted on September 13, 2020 by RelationshipBreakup

Being in a relationship that you are not sure if it is romantic or if it is just a fling might be what you are looking for but then one day you might realize that you want to take things to the next level with your partner. You try to figure out what kind of relationship you are really in and you are not sure that you want to be in a relationship that is undefined any longer. You wonder what your partner is thinking, and you wonder if they are committed to you.

Even if you do not necessarily want to label your relationship, you want to know that what you and your partner has is a natural and fulfilling relation. Being engaged, loyal, dedicated to each other or having some other kind of commitment in the relationship helps people to understand their boundaries and expectations. They know that they are safe and that they have a strong connection.

Commitment is sometimes seen as important just like having a job title is important. Having a title for your relationship allows you to know what it means and what others can see it as. It also makes your partner or employee to be accountable and to let you know what your part is.

If you no longer want to be in an undefined relationship and you wonder if your partner feels the same, here are some signs to know if your partner is committed to only you.

Time

One big sign of commitment is the way that your partner spends their time with you. If they are spending time with you and you are intimate with each other, enjoying your relationship or spending a large amount of time together, chances are your partner is committed to you.

People do things that make them happy and when there is a lot of time being spent together, the level of commitment increases, and this shows that they want to know you deeper.

Putting You First

Another good sign that your lover wants to commit is that they put you first, above everything else. This means they will text you or call you and will ask you what you are doing before they make plans. Being committed happens in stages and when someone is wanting to spend time with you and put you first, chances are they are thinking into the future.

Care and Love

Being in a good relationship is amazing but you have to understand that not everyone has the conversation of commitment and being committed is sometimes a behind the scenes thing. Maybe you have never talked to your partner about what you want out of the relationship and maybe there have been other people that you have been with but you and your partner don’t talk about it.

If you are interested in having a strong and nurturing relationship, you need to talk about what has happened in the past and with other people. Your partner needs to interact with you so that the relationship can move forward, and this also shows love and dedication.

Vulnerable

When your partner is completely committed to you, they will show a lot more vulnerability than they would if they were not interested in being with just you. Becoming intimate is not just a physical thing but when your partner becomes responsible for both your feelings and your body, this is a sign they want to commit to you.

Future

People usually only talk about the future when they expect someone to be in it. When you have a partner that is talking about how your life will look with theirs, chances are they are valuing you and they want you to be a part of their life more than just now.

Saying It

The easiest way to know someone is committed to your relationship is when they come out and tell you that they are. You might already feel like you are committed to your partner but since you do not have a label, it can make you feel strange or make you feel that you are in a weird position.

Being in a successful relationship means you are willing to get deeper and to find love more than just in the bedroom.

If you are ready to move to the next level in your relationship, you should move forward but if not, at least having the conversation is important. Find out what you mean by commitment and what you really want from your partner. Remember, all people are different, and their views are different as well.

Despite rather or not you are getting an idea of what the relationship should look like, having a conversation about it would help you to clear up your thoughts and your ideas and help you to know which direction you want to go.

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Michael Freeman, M.A.

Micheal Freeman is a “break-up expert,” with 15 years intensive study of psychology, an M.A. in social sciences, two books, and dozens of published articles.

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