Breaking up isn’t easy. As men, we often sit on the fence about the decision. It’s important to get out of that state of indecision as soon as possible and take action — either commit to staying, or commit to breaking up.
Even when we are certain about wanting to break-up, we like to put it off: Afterall, her sister’s wedding is coming up, and then there’s the high school reunion, and you can’t do it just 2 weeks before her birthday, right…?
Don’t use bad timing as an excuse: There’s NEVER an ideal time. There will always be a birthday, an anniversary, or a holiday on the horizon. Yes, you may seem like a jerk if you try to break-up on Valentine’s Day, but if the desire to leave the relationship hits you and you give yourself plenty of time to determine it’s the right choice, you have to let her know ASAP.
Obviously, you want to be sensitive and respectful: I’m not telling you to give her the news moments after her cancer diagnosis or at her mom’s funeral. Unless the relationship is extremely unhealthy (i.e., she is physically or emotionally abusive), you can delay having “the talk” for just a bit, but not weeks or months!
Remember, there’s only one thing worse than having to fake your feelings for someone: Finding out that someone was faking their feelings for you. In other words, if you wait, she will realize that you’ve felt this way for a while, and it will be even more hurtful for her.
Don’t do that to her — let her know ASAP, so you both can get on with your lives.
If you’re feeling stuck in an unhappy relationship, I wrote a “how to break-up” guide for guys like you.